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While penetration may be part of the equation—using fingers, hands, or a strap-on—a lesbian top leads through attitude, confidence, and emotional responsiveness. “A lesbian top might fuck/penetrate her partner with a strap-on or hand-held dildo, or with her hands. But she might also just be more dominant — backing her partner up against a wall, undressing her, or calling the shots, regardless of what specific sexual activities she engaged in. She might even ‘top’ her partner with her eyes, looking her up and down with unabashed desire,” says Dr. Ruth Schwartz.

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