Bully Bonding File

Walking, training, and cuddling are key.

Isolation, gaslighting (“We’re just joking, don’t be so sensitive”), and the horrifying realization that others are actively bonding over your pain. bully bonding

Consider the "frenemy" dynamic. Two coworkers, let’s call them Sarah and Jen, don’t particularly like each other. They compete for the same promotions and have different values. However, every day at lunch, they sit together and eviscerate a third colleague, Mark. They mock his presentation style, dissect his wardrobe choices, and laugh at his failed project. Walking, training, and cuddling are key

One of the most insidious aspects of bully bonding is how it coerces more passive members into aggression. Often, a "secondary bully" joins in not out of genuine malice, but out of a desperate need to avoid becoming the next target. In these scenarios, the bond is fueled by collective relief. Members feel a sense of camaraderie because they are safe for now, and that safety is reaffirmed every time they collectively target a peer. This creates a "shadow loyalty" where members are more afraid of their friends than they are of their enemies. The Consequences of Negative Connection Two coworkers, let’s call them Sarah and Jen,

In intimate partner violence, bully bonding presents as a classic trauma bond. The abuser systematically erodes the victim's self-esteem until the victim believes they cannot survive without the abuser's approval.